The people of PUGs

One of the great things about leveling by spamming the dungeon finder Queue is all the great and diverse people you run into. Seriously, there are all kinds.

You'll run into couples who sit in the same room while playing and choose to talk to each other with petnames(muffincake) in the party chat. Some groups have family members in them who use wow as a way to stay in touch. There are the deathly silent groups who smash through instance after instance without uttering a peep, that suddenly becomes very akward after one of the party members blurts forth a ridiculous MT- "Did she really fit the entire thing in her mouth?" A group that's terrible, but makes up for it with cheeky conversation and the simple ability to enjoy the game and every "oops" situation that they stumble headfirst into.

Now that the Horde has been given a new mount to grind reputation towards, there are far more runs than normal for the dungeon leveler to simply sit back and relax in due to the level 80's that are carrying the group. Most are cool, chill people and will gladly waver to the left or right of their intended course to allow a lowbie to get their quest drops. Some are egotistical pricks who have to let the rest of the group know how awesome they are by calling the rest of the group scrubs and spamming recount. (like- wtf dude? You're four levels above the rest of the group and sporting all heroic 25 gear) There are also the terribly patient 80's who suffer through the learning curves of those who are exceptionally new to wow, and even provide pointers and tips to help those newbies with their adventures.

As a 80 healer, I have occasionally carried friends, guildmates, or people from trade who begged pathetically enough through dungeons. I can attest that carrying lowbies can be a trial. But with my current gear and my mad skills ( /flex e-peen) I can save groups from nearly every kind of "oops" imaginable. Occasionally, I'll run into a group that I'm running who's attitudes annoy me and I may leave or vote the offender out. But! That said, I've never done what was done to me this past weekend. Enjoy the attached screenshot. And level 80's looking for your reputation or to run a guildmate, please don't be "That Guy", muffincake.

wait. what... just happened?

It's a question I've asked myself several times recently, as I've encountered something I hadn't seen before. As some of you know, I recenlty rolled a toon on a new server.  Most of my PUG's have been run with a fellow guild member, a tank, and have been tolerable, if not completely successful. However, I've been running on my own for a couple days, and regretting it.

Not only is my queue time ridiculous(even for a lone healer) but the groups are more often than not of the epic fail variety. They are composed of the usual suspects- dps pulling, huntards not controlling pets, everyone standing in any fire available, etc. Those are the types of fail that I am used to and generally prepared to overcompensate in my healing for.

But! I have been introduced to another kind of fail group. This one I honestly have *never* encountered before now. I suppose variety is the spice of life, and my recent wow pugs have been spicy indeed.

Here is a rundown of this new and improved kind of fail:

Step 1: Queue up. Browse the AH. Clean out bags(why the fuck am I rolling around with 8 and 10 slot bags at level 54, anyways?!) Repair. Turn in quests. Run around and learn flight paths. Go back to the AH. /facepalm at trade chat trolls.

Step 2: ZOMG! Queue popped! Yay! Make sure I'm in the right spec for what the LFG tool says I'm susposed to do and hit accept.

Step 3: Loading screen. Protip:  Don't stand in the fire!

Step 4: Zone in. The scene is set as follows- Tank is way ahead out of range and appears to be in the middle of getting zerged by little red bars. One of the dps is already dead. The rogue uses his vanish while standing on a flamestriked area and doesn't move. The third dps is trying to hearth out in a corner. Suddenly, and not surprisingly, the tank dies then leaves group. The dead guy and the rogue leave group. All the little zerglings who were pummeling the tank turn their beady little eyes on me, the healer. I die under their gaze. The hearthmaster then dies and leaves group. All mobs reset to their original locations, revealing that the tank had pulled SEVEN GROUPS while the group was waiting for the lfg system to find a healer.

Step 5: uuhhh..... wut just happened? /boggle

Step 6: Loading screen. Protip: Dungeons are more fun when everyone works together as a team. Be patient with players who are still learning the game. ( /facepalm )

Yeah. That's the group I ran into this weekend. Not just once, either! This happened three or four times! My mind was totally and completely boggled. I can understand a geared tank pulling a group that he/she is comfortable tanking without heals. They want to continue to have progress so the other members of the group don't bail out. Hell, I've even done it. Cautiously. But I would never pull exceptionally large groups with no healer. It just doesn't make any sense.

Even if you had all died due to the stupidity and impatience of a shitty tank, why would you leave when you finally got a healer from the queue? Yeah, you're dead. Just run back. bailing out wastes an amazing amount of time. The deserter debuff sucks balls, and then there's the wait for another group to form. As dps, that's about half a day. Just waiting for a queue.

I suppose, when the fail is just too much, that there's is no alternative than to bail out and wait for all those timers. Sometimes, doing nothing really is better than suffering through some of the PUG's there are nowdays.

How to win at guilds

ZOMG Heals!!!

HEAL ME HEAL ME HEAL ME!!!

The insistant whining of dying toons is like a badly tuned alarm clock, sounding over and over again, despite the fact that the healers have managed to keep everyone alive and well.

HEAL ME HEAL ME HEAL ME!!!

Oddly enough, this practice of screeching like a cat set on fire is not limited to PUGs. It certainly isn't excluded from them, either. But it exists outside of them, in regular raiding guilds. Guilds who have had their healers for awhile and are well aware of what their capabilities are. Groups who have encountered horrible /facepalm pulls and survived because of the mad skills of their healers.

HEAL ME HEAL ME HEAL ME!!!

Even the very best healers have to put up with that desperate plea. It's bad enough to encounter in raid chatter or even raid warnings [HEAL THE TANK!] With vent, we now hear it in a whole other perspective- we get to hear them screaming it in a decibel that even dogs would complain about.

HEAL ME HEAL ME HEAL ME!!!

Here's a small factoid for the non-healers. Typing/Yelling at your healers to heal you, doesn't do anything except waste the time it takes to type and waste vent time when more important info could be put out. Not only that, but screeching louder and faster will not make the heals land any quicker. Not to mention, by the time you've said something, the heal is either coming, or it's not. If the heal is already enroute (being cast) then demanding heals is merely annoying the healer who is healing you and causing other healers to waste their mana trying to "compensate" for something that isn't wrong in the first place. If the heal isn't enroute, then it's because you are not a priority and capslock/outyelling the raid leader isn't going to change anything. If, by some odd chance, you are a priority (tanks) and you're not recieving the heals you should, then the group will wipe anyways and the raid leaders and healers can discuss assignments to be sure you're kept alive the next time.

HEAL ME HEAL ME HEAL ME!!!

Achievement-whaat?

I am an achievement whore. I love knocking out achievements, watching the little dialog on my screen and getting grats from people who feel like sending out grats. I really enjoy the hard achievments, the ones that require skill, time, and effort on the part of several people. So when I see achievement PUGs forming, I'll usually jump on board to work on my own achievements or assist others with theirs.

Most of the time, those achievement runs are smooth and hitchless. People get out of the fire, kill what they're susposed to kill, don't kill what they're not susposed to kill and stack and scatter appropiately. Those kinds of runs can even be down right enjoyable. Unfortunately, there is a chance of ending up in a group that rocks the opposite end of the spectrum.

"Eveyone know what to do, right?"

"yeah, yeah, we got this" "OMG GO"

*que wipe

"Ok... so what are we susposed to do in phase one?"

/facepalm

For some reason, there are people who see "achievement run" in a PUG's advertisement and jumps on board for a free run. I think the reasoning is that a baddie knows that the majority of the group will be well-geared and knowledgable about the raid. Said person will attempt to blend in with everyone else who knows what to do. When an achievement run gets infiltrated by one such person, it's usually workable. The rest of the group can adapt and improvise enough to compensate for the baddie. But when an achievement run is overrun by baddies, is ceases to be about the achievements, which can be frustrating for the people who are prepared and have ended up saved to a group that will be unable to complete normal modes.

And so, Baddies, this is a request for you: PLEASE stay out of my achievement runs. I want my achievements. On "carry the baddie" days, I will gladly carry your ass to free epikz, in exchange for you staying out of my achievement runs.