This Dungeon Is In Progress

...Oh, crap.

The queue that I always dread getting as a healer or tank. There's only three possible outcomes.

#1- The previous healer or tank was SSOOOOOOO terrible, that the group was willing to vote them out and wait FOREVER to get a new healer or tank. As we all know, that is a longass wait.

#2-DC/ Cat's on fire/ Goldfish is drowning/ ninja/ <Insert other shitty reason to leave here>

#3- The previous healer or tank left because the group was SSSOOOOOOOO terrible, that they were willing to deal with their deserter debuff and get another group.

More often than not, it's the third reason. When I encounter that kind of a queue, I close my eyes, take a deep breath, open my eyes, wait ten or fifteen seconds to give them time to finish wiping if their healer/tank left midpull, then enter the dungeon.

I then die because I should have waited one second longer.

 

How to tank and kill the Whale Shark

So I guess wow champion didn't like my guide submission, because it got totally deleted last night, along with about 200 others. Whatever. Here's the guide I submitted.

Whale Shark
Level ? Boss
780631 - 11159297 Damage
110920 Armor
9686250 Health
Cannot be tamed

Whale Shark is the giant behemoth that patrols the underwater zone of Vashj'ir and like the Fel Reavers of Hellfire Peninsula, Whale Shark has the uncanny ability to sneak up on unsuspecting players. Unlike the Fel reavers, Whale Shark has an achievement. This guide will talk you through tanking, kiting, and killing Whale Shark.

Rangedisplay addon in action.

• The first step tanks are going to want to take is to go and get an addon that will display your range from a mob. I used rangedisplay from curse.com.Set it up however you like, but you're going to want Whale Sharks distance from you up front and center.

• Tanking Whale Shark involves some heavy kiting. You should be constantly moving away from Whale Shark. If you linger too close to Whale Shark, he will one shot you, regardless of class or gear. The closest you're going to want to get to whale shark is 9 meters. At the same time that you're staying away from Whale Shark, you don't want to venture too far. If you get too far away from Whale Shark, he will reset. The furthest you can go is 20 meters. It's best to stay at 19 though, to avoid risking it.

• Practice with Whale Shark. It's gonna take a little bit of practice to master maintaining the necessary range. Remember- 9-19 meters. There are two methods to doing this. The first is the one I prefer using- the turning method. You face away from Whale Shark while swimming away, then turn and face him when you need to attack, then turn and swim away again. The second method is just to swim backwards while attacking him. Whichever you use, even just a couple minutes of practice will prepare you to not fail once a group is formed.
  

  

  This is what you should be looking atwhen you pull.

  
  

• Making the initial pull: The initial pull needs to be done from teeth level of Whale Shark. Just swim right up to his grill, about 30 meters out, then wait for him to come into your ideal tanking range. Do not pull from above or below this area. The reason for this is that the vertical range is not as accurate as the horizontal one and even when your range addon says you're far enough away, your run from the graveyard will say something different.

• Build threat before letting dps do their thing. I recommend making them wait for at least a minute. If you have rogues, they can start ToTing you on cd. Same with hunters and MD. When dps does begin, they need to do so slowly. Omen is incredibly useful in this fight and dps needs to pay close attention to their threat. Periodically, or whenever they begin to creep up on the tank, dps can reset their agro by swimming out of range of Whale Shark.

• Take Whale Shark towards the surface. There are fewer mobs up there to agro. If you have issues with your camera clipping above and below the surface, settle for a few meters below. While kiting Whale Shark watch your map, or assign someone to watch their map and give you directions to avoid dragging him out to a fatigue area.

• DPS should be resetting their agro, but if somebody does pull, tanks can get Whale Shark back under control. Tanks need to get back in the ideal tanking range(9-19 meters) and get a successful taunt off. In this situation, tanks need to be extremely cautious not to get too close.

The above information is for all tanks and groups. Occasionally, dps will be unable to locate a tank for their group. Have no fear- Because Whale Shark is kited, he does not require a traditional tank. Any class can tank and kite him. He can even be solo'd be anyone with the appropriate amount of time and patience. Below is information for groups without a traditional tank. Bear in mind, all of the above still applies.

• For a group without a traditional tank, I recommend two or three of the highest agro classes in the group go ahead and get an addon to display their range. Rangedisplay is what I use. Again, feel free to configure it how you like.

• I'm going to put a lot of emphasis on stacking. Place raid markers on your tanks and stack the entire group on those markers. A group without a traditional tank will be lacking the taunts available to other groups. When everyone is stacked on top of each other and somebody pulls off of the tanks, a taunt will be unnecessary because they'll all be stacked. Additionally, stacked groups have a higher chance of survivability when somebody pulls agro than if everyone is spread out.

• Drop agro. Drop agro, drop agro. As I mentioned before, dps can drop agro by simply swimming out of Whale Sharks 20 meter hitbox. Dropping agro will result in a cleaner kill and a smaller repair bill.

Here is the video tutorial outlining the above information, and showing it all put to use.



You should now be well on your way to your achievement.

Whale Shark, Version 2.0.

So after my last post, Whale Shark 1.0, I set out on a mission- I was going to kill Whale Shark. I was going to avenge the death of my toon and countless others. I did what any internet savvy geek would do.

I googled.

Surprisingly, I was unable to locate any guides. I did find a few blips here and there by individuals who had killed him, detailing their trial and error and what had been successful. I also ran across numerous funny stories detailing the pwnage whale shark dished out. But I could not find a definitive guide to lead me on my way. I decided that I would go on what I could find, and when I was successful, I would take everything I learned to make a guide for other adventurers.

After my humiliating defeat, I learned they Whale Sharks hit box was very... strange. Too far away, and my toon somehow lost the ability to see Whale Shark. I don't know how to explain it. People in Stormwind and Orgrimmar would look over into the ocean and see Whale Shark without difficulty. But my toon, a mere 25 meters away, was having issues. Too close and I started having nightmares of a giant gaping mouth with teeth.

I set out to find and locate an addon to show me my exact range. Rangedisplay at curse.com was the first one I came across and it fit my needs perfectly. I configured it to show my focus's range, and to make small dings when I had gone above 18 meters and when I had dropped below 9. Lemme tell you, those few meters of working space that you have feel very tight and make tanking Whale Shark a little unnerving.

Once I had my addon, I started practicing. I didn't get a group, because I didn't want to waste anyone's time while I learned what a narrow margin for error I was going to have to work with. Whale Shark resets above 20 meters, and kills you at 5. I found that working with the 5 meter intervals rangedisplay shows worked for me. I would move in front of him until I was displaying 15-20, then sit still till I dropped down to 10-15. The move forward again. When my judgement was off of CD, I turned, waited till the meter ticket the 8-10 mark, then judgemented as I was turning and swimming back to the 15-20 range.

It was difficult to not get too far in front of him, but mostly, to build acceptable threat. Because I couldn't just sit there and wail away on Whale Shark to build their agro the traditional way, I was left with judgement, consecrate, avengers shield, and yelling at him (hand of reckoning). I knew it was going to take me a long time to build a good amount of threat on Whale Shark. Often, DPS is anxious to get on the road, and there will almost certainly be a Go Guy somewhere in the group. People don't like sitting around watching a tank play with the critter they're supposed to be killing.

After a few days of practice- I formed my group. I grabbed guildies, other PAA members on Dark Iron, and headed to the zone. Once there, I made someone assistant and they grabbed a couple other people who wanted the achiev.

The challenge lied in constantly moving, maintaining the correct range, and keeping Whale Shark too occupied to go and smash the rest of the group. I found out that eventually, somebody will invariably pull agro. A coulpe times when this happened, I was able to get Whale Shark back under control. But the margin for error to regain agro is infinitely smaller than simply tanking the Whale Shark. When somebody pulls agro, if that person is not stacked on the tank, Whale Shark will turn and chase said person. That will change Whale Sharks direction of movement and distance from the tank. As I said, it is possible to get Whale Shark back under control. You can see in the video at the end of this post the couple times he turns from me and I successfully get him back. you can also see the one time that I wasn't successful.

My next post will be the guide that I am submitting to wow champion for their guide contest(wish me luck!)

 

What if it's your guild?

It's only too easy for me to bash on PUGs. They're... Well, they're PUGs. They need no further explanation. And generally, they deserve every bit of bashing that is thrown their way.

Now organized runs in guilds, those are different. It is basically understood that when you join a guild, you're joining a somewhat like minded group of individuals to take on group projects. That includes raids, dungeons, battlegrounds, world bosses.... etc. Most guilds (good guilds) require some sort of application process and it is during that application process that an individuals experience is established. Generally, that experience will weigh towards whether or not an invitation is extended. Sometimes, no-so-much. Granted, unless the guild is an exceptionally top end raiding guild (Paragon comes to mind) there are bound to be extreme casuals, "I know X, invite please" and that one guy who always seems to be in the fire.

I encountered a guild run this weekend that rivaled most PUGs I end up with. Now I will agree that sometimes people just have an off day. And of course, with Cataclysm so new, most everyone is still learning what to do and what not to do. Those two things combined had me feeling like I was in a group of bads who had all managed to slip through a crack in the application process.

The stage was Heroic Throne of the Tides. The antagonist was Lady Naz’jar. The scene of events that unfolded was party members out of range, an occasional shock blast that went uninterrupted, party members getting caught in whirlwinds, myself getting caught in whirlwinds also as I tried to keep everyone healed, adds running amok and uncontrolled, and wipe, after wipe, after wipe. Thankfully, the graveyard was closeby. I really couldn't tell you if I was to blame or if they were to blame, or if Lady Naz'jar was to blame. I know that nearly everyone, myself included, would get caught up in whirlwinds and for that everyone, myself included, was to blame. But that didn't seem to be the only issue. After 15 or 20 attempts or so(I didn't keep track, but I think I should have) I finally let them know I was too annoyed with it and left.

But seriously, what if it's your guild? You can't exactly nerdrage, or you risk not getting invites again. You can't really just bail out with no reason or a really lame excuse- that'll come back to bite you in the ass also. And you sure can't go on and on about how terrible they are and that they need to l2p in caps lock or you'll risk a Gkick.

So my question for you, loyal readers, is what do you do when it's your guild?

 

A prime example of a bad.

So Ricket FINALLY popped up and I took my little priest up to the jadefang alcove to camp for my minipet. I decided I didn't want to just be sitting there for HOURS doing nothing, so I joined a queue. After a bit it popped- "Dungeon is in progress"

Well that means the group either failed altogether, or the healer got pissed off and left. I really don't like joining dungeons in progress because of the recipe for epic failure. I took a deep breath, pressed accept, and promptly got smacked in the face with a terribad.

THIS is what I saw when I loaded in to the middle of grim batol. I know it's not a particularly difficult dungeon, but healing it is massively easier when there's some kind of CC up and running, and since this group had a mage and a lock, keeping CC up should have been no issue.

Well the baddie from the group was the tank. Thought I should point that out.They're the worst kind of bad, because groups will be reluctant to kick them out for their badness. Nobody wants to wait for a tank to queue in.

Moving along. The lock and the mage did use their CC things and it was going fairly smoothly, till this bad ran up to a group before they could CC and started letting all the mobs smack him. After healing him through the pounding he was willingly taking and nearly going completely oom, he decided it was a good time to pipe up with a "see, we don't need CC" comment.

Bads. Please, Please, PLEASE L2P!!!!

Shifting Perspectives: The unbearable suckhood of pugging

I swear, this writer is after my own heart. Linked below is their post, which is completely on spot.

http://wow.joystiq.com/2010/12/22/shifting-perspectives-the-unbearable-suckhood-of-pugging/#continued

I recommend following the link to get the full effect of it, go and read it. For a quick flyby, here are a few excerpts:

A Throne of the Tides dungeon finder group.
Allie: ... So this is the skull; I'll root the melee mob over here. Shammy, can you Hex this dude? Mage, can you sheep the healer? I've marked her with the moon.
Shaman: No problem.
Mage: (silence)
Allie: (foolishly assumes that silence implies consent) LOS pulling.
The entire group minus the Hexed and rooted mob aggros. Allie, who is line-of-sighting behind a wall, watches the pull go to hell as the group opens fire on the skull. The ranged mobs stop dead in their tracks, the melee aggro the group due to DoTs and AoE, and the unsheeped healer mob keeps healing the others to full.
Allie: (Feral Charge) (Challenging Roar) (cooldown cooldown cooldown)
Allie: Mage, if you could sheep the next moon, that'd be great; it's just gonna keep healing, otherwise.
Mage: No.
Allie: Jigga-what?
Mage: Just tank this s%&t, you don't need to CC here.

I swear to god, I ran into that exact mage. I was healing a lost city run and the tank was busy with two or three mobs, while a caster sat at range and threw handfuls of colorful pwnage into my face. I asked the mage to CC said mob and was advised that he had been here several times and hadn't CC'd a single time, and that this instance was just a tank n spank instance. He further advised that he wasn't going to waste *his* mana CC'ing something that didn't need it. I suppose he prefered me wasting my mana to heal myself instead of the tank. Thankfully, the group had a paladin who agreed the mage was an idiot and who kept the ranged mob stunned from there on out. (I love you, mystery paladin)

The final boss, Erudax, in heroic Grim Batol. The group has run back after a wipe.
Allie: Okay, that was a good attempt, but we need to switch DPS to the adds a lot faster. They spawn straight after Shadow Gale, so be prepared to run. Ready?
Rogue: r
Priest: r
Warlock: r
Ret paladin: r
Allie: (pulls)
Warlock: (keeps DPSing Erudax after Shadow Gale)
Rest of group: Adds?
Warlock: (keeps DPSing Erudax)
Rest of group: Adds? Hello? Bueller?
Allie: Goddammit.
Allie Feral Charges one of the adds and helps to DPS it down, because she is awesome. The group wipes on the next add phase.
Warlock: (posts damage meters showing himself at the top)
Allie: (hunts around for the aspirin bottle located somewhere around the laundry bin)

Well.

That's about all there is to say to this one. I've never really liked the recount guy. EVER. He's generally stupid, annoying, and too busy stroking his own *filtered for the children* to actually be useful. More often than not, his refusal to follow basic instructions is more harmful to the group than his dps is helpful.

A heroic Stonecore dungeon finder group.
Tank: Everyone ready?
Allie: Sure. Are you going to mark the p-
Tank: (pulls)
Allie: (to herself at the computer) This will end in tears. Probably mine.
Nobody: (interrupts the Stonecore Earthshaper)
Stonecore Earthshaper: Whoo! AoE! Heal through this, sucka!
Stonecore Berserker: Sweet, I can Spinning Slash through the melee and tank and NO ONE WILL MOVE OUT OF IT.
Allie: (heals like crazy and goes OOM).
Pull: (finally dies for some unaccountable reason)
Tank: (runs to the next pull)
Allie: Mana!
Tank: Are you going to have to drink after every pull? This place is going to take ages if you do.
Allie: TREE SMASH.

I'm gonna be honest with you here- I haven't moved on to heroics. Because I am Horde at heart, and my current guild is... alliance, I'm a bit of an outsider. I think they're just racist against the Horde. Regardless- it is incredibly difficult for me to get guild groups, so I do a lot of pugging. So far, even with more than an adequate ilvl to move on to heroics, I am sticking with regulars. There are a couple reasons for this.

1. All these dungeons are new, people are still learning wtf to do. Myself included. I would rather learn in a regular and then progress to heroics, rather than stumble into a heroic and watch the group scatter when I announce that "I've never been here before."


2. The same as I don't want to make others suffer through my learning curve, I don't want to suffer through anyone else's learning curve.


3. PUG's suck. Even in regulars, I am rarely getting grouped with anyone who still deserves to be in the gene pool. I would quite possibly be the next viral youtube nerdrager if I tried running a heroic pug.

All that said, even in regulars, I am managing to burn through mana faster than that Qur'an burning pastor burned through media coverage. It is necessary for me to drink, if not every pull, then at least every other. This is with groups who are actually doing mostly everything right. Forget groups who manage to do everything possible wrong. In that situation, I'm keeping all my mana recovery abilites on CD as well as needing to drink all the time.

I would like to welcome all scrubs to Cataclysm. We are no longer in WotLK. Sorry, but we're not blasting through instances in 15 minutes or less anymore. Relax. Sit back. Take your time, and do it right. If your healer has to drink, let them drink. In case you missed the memo, they're the healer. Their mana determines the pace of the group. Ignoring this basic rule will invariably result in a corpse run. There are some great healers who can heal every kind of "oops" imaginable. But unfortunately, it is incredibly difficult for even the best among us to heal stupid. Even those of us who manage to heal stupid can only do so a long as we have mana. No mana, no heals, no shiny new loot.

 

Again, Go and read the original post over at http://wow.joystiq.com/2010/12/22/shifting-perspectives-the-unbearable-suckhood-of-pugging/#continued It's a great post!

Whale Shark

The Burning Crusade had the Fel Reaver in Hellfire Peninsula. A mechanical monstrosity whose footsteps shook the zone, and whose mighty shadow sent noobs and veterans alike fleeing for safety and punished those foolish enough to stand their ground.

For awhile.

Wrath of The Lich King had Thrym in Zul'Drak. A frankenstein-ish horror who patrolled a lonely section of road, crushing AFK-ers and travelers who ventured close enough beneath his massive foot.

...For awhile.

Cataclysm has introduced yet another great behemoth- the Whale Shark. The Whale Shark, who laughs at science as much as he laughs at tanks.

Whale Shark has asked me to let you know that it is displeased by your tone, and to deliver the following message:
Whale Shark is the devourer of the slow moving and inattentive. This includes plankton, whales, and AFK players. Whale Shark swims where and how it pleases. Whale Shark /spits on your science.

-Daxxarri, us.battle.net forums

The Whale Shark, who inspires epic stories of defeat.

Thought i should share my experience of whaleshark. Me and five or so guildies were questing in the area killing Naga and whatnot, when i noticed a small yellow dot on the corner of my minimap. I began to swim over to mine said dot when i noticed it... whaleshark! With his big funny mouth and little beady eyes! I called the guys over and we went about discussing if we could take it or not. We decided tank'n'spank was the best course of action and off i charged, in full gnomish glory! Devistate hit 6k, than 8 and sheild slam for 10k! Rawr! All whaleshark did was blink. It was that blink that hit me so hard it disbanded my guild and deleted my account. Curse, vent, every expansion uninstalled. Even the desktop icon and my background of chromie gone. I had to log onto the guild forum to find out what was going on! It turns out the rest of the guild tried to run but to no avail, whaleshark opened his huge mouth and hit them all with 560k effortlessly. Anyone wearing metal had his armour shattered, the casters were stripped naked and one druid had his tree form turned into tooth picks. It was terrible. And as if that wasnt enough, whaleshark grew a hand and reached through my screen, flipped me off, inapropriatly touched my girlfriend and punched my cat. Im still traumatised. Apparently everynight before he goes to bed, Chuck Norris checks under his bed for whaleshark...

-Abigaile, wowhead comment

The Whale Shark, who obliterates tanks with a with a mere look and causes clothies to implode, leaving behind only a few air bubbles that drift to the surface.

I was foolish enough to go and mess around with whale shark. In the words of Illidan Stormrage- I was not prepared! Whale Shark demolished me, my party, and judging by the screams echoing through the zone, I think he also killed everyone else as well, merely as retribution for me interrupting his afternoon tea. To be fair, I was unprepared. I hadn't researched the fight or established what was necessary to kill him. Hubris led me to saunter over to him with a group of seven, two or three of them a mere 81-83. After a thorough thrashing by Whale Shark, we disbanded and fled the scene. I don't like to think of it as running away. I prefer calling it a tactical retreat. Whale Shark may have won that battle, but I guarantee, he will not win the war.



OMG! They're rolling in packs, now!  /runaway!

My Hero!

Taken from Ghostcrawler's post:

I’m not trying to bash pugs here, but I am amazed at how often a nuker will pick a random target instead of the one being tanked, then blame the tank for not holding aggro (and then blame the healer when they die).

My Hero! In short- Bads, please stop being bad.

When the lfg system isn't enough...

Back in the day, which was a wednesday, btw, when you wanted to find a group you searched in trade chat, or in the local zone where you were. You found dps quickly, then struggled to pull in a tank and a healer as well. Then the party attempted to figure out who was going to go to the actual dungeon to summon people there. Nobody wanted to do it. Usually, by the time the group was formed and everyone was summoned, somebody would key in with a helpful "guys, I gotta go soon, so lets hurry." The group would then be rushed to try and complete BRD, and would wipe. Somebody would inevitably get lost running back from the graveyard-usually the guy who just HAD to be summoned. The group would then be demolished.

The whole process was rather time consuming, annoying, and tedious.

Blizzard then saw fit to introduce the lfg system, and all our problems were solved. Mostly.



*sigh* But Blizzard did manage to sort through those issues, and the lfg system is, from my perspective, a huge success. As a healer and a tank, I am able to find a group quickly by using it. Yeah, yeah, insert dps qq right here. Whatever.

At least, I thought it was whatever. Then, I started getting these lovely little tells from random people:

...wtf? Dude. I'm busy. Questing, AH-ing, Filing my nails. Whatever. Does it really matter? If I wanted to be in a group, I would be, by merely clicking the join queue button and blinking. Why would I even dream of grouping with somebody too lazy or stupid to use the lfg system? And thank you for fitting your huntard stereotype.

I suppose I can sympathize with people who don't wan't to be stuck with a bunch of randoms. PUGs suck, there's no denying that. But /who-ing to try to get a group is no better. If you're really that sick of the groups you get with the lfg system, consider using your guild. At the very least, please annoy only people in your friends list who have approved you to annoy them. If all else fails.... do quests. Amazingly enough, you can actually get xp from those. (who knew?!)

Random Blue Post

First of all, I am blown away by the detail put into the underwater zones, but I got a chuckle out of the new Whale Shark mobs swimming around. I love the way they look, but they have one major flaw. Someone must have goofed and started with a “whale” skeleton instead of a “shark” one and used the whale animations, because they swim with the up-and-down motion of the in game whales. Not the (correct) side-to-side motion of a shark. Anyone else sit there gawking at them and wondering how in the world that got by the QC department? I laughed.

 

Whale Shark has asked me to let you know that it is displeased by your tone, and to deliver the following message:

Whale Shark is the devourer of the slow moving and inattentive. This includes plankton, whales, and AFK players.

Whale Shark swims where and how it pleases. Whale Shark /spits on your science.

Cata Dungeon Locations

With the cata expansion, we have new dungeons to jump in and grind for reputation.
or... maybe.
Now you are required to find said dungeons before you can queue for them. I have provided a nice little link that gives directions and screenshots:
http://www.projectcwal.com/wow/cataclysm-dungeon-entrance-locations/

Lets do this shiit!

Aight Blizz. I've got the rest of the week off work. I've got my scooby snacks. I've got my tasty drinks and my energy potions. I have pee'd already. I've even removed my pantz for maximum comfort.

BRING IT ON!!!

Multi-Boxing

I've seen a few multi-boxers before. Wearing the same outfits and gear, all stacked up so closely it almost appears your video card is having a minor glitch. But until now, I've never seen them anywhere except out and about, in town or out questing.

This weekend, I ran into a group that had a multi-boxer playing three toons. Normally, I see shammy's, but this was three boomchickens. I'm gonna be honest, I was a bit aprehensive when I saw that. It's all fine and dandy for a multi-boxer to be out doing their own thing, but I'm not entirely confident in their ability to effectively dungeon with other people. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against them, and am all for them doing what they do. However, some dungeons require versatility, flexability, and the use of utility abilities. You need to be able to move, maintain control of mobs, watch agro, respond to buffs and debuffs, etc. All of that needs to be done in realtime, without pause. A single person controlling a single toon is more than capable of doing all those and more. But a single person controlling more than one toon becomes more limited in what they can effectively do.

I will admit, I have never tried multiboxing. I may be missing the perspective necessary to put out a complete and thorough argument. But it's simply my belief that they're not as capable as they could be.

Moving on. This weekend, I ran into my first pug that had a multiboxer. Three boomchickens, all with the same, slightly predictable, guildname- <Multi-Box>. I was apprehensive, but ran with it, and was pleasantly surprised. He put out acceptable dps, rarely pulled, moved where he needed to, etc. He even behaved correctly for the final boss in Nexus. My opinion of multi boxers has improved, but Nexus is old news, and Cata will be hitting in about 12 hours. I stand by my belief that a multiboxer will lag behind the rest of us who play individul toons.

Guild Shenanigans

It's fairly common to run into groups full of guildmates, grouped together for companionship or to run a lower level guildy through a dungeon for either XP or gear. Occasionally there will be shenanigans- strange "inside jokes", agro contests, MD-ing to a random group member(heals-eep!) and doing crazy pulls or other stupid shit.

Occasionally, there will be a guild run that will simply boggle the mind of the random lfg-er who got sucked into it. This past weekend, I'm sure my guild <Blizzcon AfterParty> did just that- confused and baffled some poor sap who got grouped with us by the lfg finder.

Behold, an achievement that we, in our boredom, invented. All three bosses in halls of stone, downed withing 15 seconds of each other. It should be noted that this is on regular. If an achievement did get implemented, I would prefer that it be on heroic, and require nobody to die.



Strategy involves moving the three bosses in a circle to keep out of the black voids. Party members get thrown back, stoned, and then explode, causing damage to nearby party members. There are also a small amount of adds which will flock to the healer. Achievement requires  movement, awareness and survivability.

SW Raid

To counter my org raid post, and because I am Horde at heart and was bored, I went through SW and created a map and strategy.

The first thing you're going to notice is that there are not nearly as many auctioneer's, bankers, and innkeepers as in Org. This is actually good. You can theoretically control the city with fewer raids.

Raid1- Only one raid should be necessary for the Dwarven District. The alliance population there is exceptionally low. It will however be an entry point for all alliance coming from Ironforge. This raid needs to be prepared for that.

Raid2&3- The trade district has an incredibly high concentration of alliance players. Because of this, I'm suggesting two raids to handle this area. One raid may be able to handle it, but two will keep it comfortably under control. Should there be a lull in this area and R1 needs assistance, R3 can peel off and go assist there.

Raid 4&5-  King Wrynn's room. The horde has an advantage that the alliance does not in raiding each others main cities. King Wrynn's fortress has multiple rooms and entrances. The red lines on my map indicate areas in the fortress where flyers can land, and immediately launch an assault- providing at least thirty seconds of dps on King Wrynn before the bulk of the alliance arrives to interfere. The price of that advantage is more guards already posted in his room that will have to be dealt with. His fortress handily provides another advantage- a separate room from which to heal, res, and summon reinforcements. It should be noted that room needs to be cleared out beforehand- it comes equipped with two battlemasters. King Wrynn's room has two entrances, a long hallway lined with guards, and landing platform I mentioned above. Keep in mind, that the alliance can also take advantage of that landing area. Don't get caught with your pants down. Assign a raid to lock down those two entrances. When opposition is light, they can switch to Wrynn.

---------------

The horde has another advantage that I feel the alliance does not have- LOS. Whereas Org is very flat and open, SW is full of buildings, cramped streets and handy nooks and crannies. I highly recommend utilizing rooftops, and line of sight by entering buildings and running around corners. A notation about SW banks- they are very roomy, and provide a good "base of operations" to settle down in. DPS should lay down aoe after aoe directly *outside* the door, while healers stay towards the rear. Warlocks can set up summoning stones in one of the back rooms, and healers should be capable of dropping combat back there to res anyone who dies. There is also plenty of room for mages to set up ports when everyone is ready to leave.

Post cata edit- It should be noted that the dwarven district recieves much more activity now, due to its proximity to the portals that access the new cata zones.

Org raid

So. A couple weeks ago we held the center plateau, where all the transportation is based out of. We comfortably held that for three hours with three raids, then got bored and left.

The horde in turn talked smack about how it didn't matter and how we hadn't disrupted anything because the bankers and auctioneers hadn't been killed. They even scoffed that we didn't take out garrosh(forgeting the fact that he's keyed for level 85 raids)

I'm trying to formulate a strategy to completely lock down the city. One that doesn't require more than a couple hundred people. I want to keep all the banks and auctionhouses shut down, while at the same time taking out garrosh.

I believe that it is possible to shut down the city with a mere four full raids. Five would make it comfortable, but four I think would be acceptable.

Raid 1&2- Garrosh's building. I'd like a healthy number of tanks because I hear he hits like a freekin truck. Healers are also necessary. R1 will focus on Garrosh and guards while R2 handles the chokepoint in the doorway, taking out any horde who attempt to interefere. If no horde is present, R2 can swap to Garrosh, and if a large push of horde comes, R1 can assist in wiping that up.

Raid3- R3 will be in charge of valley of strength auctioneers and bankers. This area will have an entire raid due to it being heavily populated by horde. I recomend healers and ranged utilizing rooftops. Due to this raid being in a high population area and the fact that they will be taking the brunt of counter raids, they will be able to call on R4 at any time for assistance.

Raid4&5- R4 will be incredibly mobile and in charge of a large area. They will be moving between the valley's of honor, wisdom, spirits, and the transportation hub. Their job will be to take out auctioneers, bankers, and the flight master. Due to the spread out nature of this raids job, it is ideal to have a R5. R4 will likely be required to stop and assist with cleanup in valley of strength, but should not be their primary focus unless R3 is getting hit heavily.

--------------------------

This strategy is a rough draft, and is put together with the idea that the absolute bare minimum amount of people attend. The more people there are, the easier it will be. Ideally, a raid could be assigned to each low population valley, with two or more assigned to valley of strength and two+ more inside hammering Garrosh.

Seeya, I got mine.

Dungeons are good for quite a few things:

-Grinding XP for the next level. and the next. and the next.

-Quests which give shiney new loot, gold, and xp.

-Shiney new loot.

-Reputation. To buy shiney new loot with.

So the question is- what do you do once you've reached your goal? Once you've leveled, or finished picking up all your quest items from the dungeon, or gotten to the reputation that you needed. Do you stick around, finish the dungeon? Or do you bail out?

Too often I've been in a dungeon, grinding along, throwing balls of pewpew into the faces of mobs, moving toward each boss and ultimately the end boss. The group is good, the opposition is dying, the loot is shiney. When suddenly! A person in the group will ding, with the telltale sound echo'd by a couple "Grats!" Usually, the group will continue to tear through the dungeon. Occasionally, the recipent of the ding will have popped smoke before the "grats!" can even be delivered. Sometimes, they'll bail out in the middle of a pull. Or two or three or full pulls. Not really a problem if it's just a DPS class. But when the tank or heals do this, a normally mundane run becomes suddenly hectic.

I can somewhat understand why- Once you gotten what you wanted, any further effort is a waste of time and energy without any benefit to you. However, it is also exceptionally rude to simply bail out of a run without any excuse or apology, especially if you're a needed class and in the middle of any pull.

The people of PUGs

One of the great things about leveling by spamming the dungeon finder Queue is all the great and diverse people you run into. Seriously, there are all kinds.

You'll run into couples who sit in the same room while playing and choose to talk to each other with petnames(muffincake) in the party chat. Some groups have family members in them who use wow as a way to stay in touch. There are the deathly silent groups who smash through instance after instance without uttering a peep, that suddenly becomes very akward after one of the party members blurts forth a ridiculous MT- "Did she really fit the entire thing in her mouth?" A group that's terrible, but makes up for it with cheeky conversation and the simple ability to enjoy the game and every "oops" situation that they stumble headfirst into.

Now that the Horde has been given a new mount to grind reputation towards, there are far more runs than normal for the dungeon leveler to simply sit back and relax in due to the level 80's that are carrying the group. Most are cool, chill people and will gladly waver to the left or right of their intended course to allow a lowbie to get their quest drops. Some are egotistical pricks who have to let the rest of the group know how awesome they are by calling the rest of the group scrubs and spamming recount. (like- wtf dude? You're four levels above the rest of the group and sporting all heroic 25 gear) There are also the terribly patient 80's who suffer through the learning curves of those who are exceptionally new to wow, and even provide pointers and tips to help those newbies with their adventures.

As a 80 healer, I have occasionally carried friends, guildmates, or people from trade who begged pathetically enough through dungeons. I can attest that carrying lowbies can be a trial. But with my current gear and my mad skills ( /flex e-peen) I can save groups from nearly every kind of "oops" imaginable. Occasionally, I'll run into a group that I'm running who's attitudes annoy me and I may leave or vote the offender out. But! That said, I've never done what was done to me this past weekend. Enjoy the attached screenshot. And level 80's looking for your reputation or to run a guildmate, please don't be "That Guy", muffincake.

wait. what... just happened?

It's a question I've asked myself several times recently, as I've encountered something I hadn't seen before. As some of you know, I recenlty rolled a toon on a new server.  Most of my PUG's have been run with a fellow guild member, a tank, and have been tolerable, if not completely successful. However, I've been running on my own for a couple days, and regretting it.

Not only is my queue time ridiculous(even for a lone healer) but the groups are more often than not of the epic fail variety. They are composed of the usual suspects- dps pulling, huntards not controlling pets, everyone standing in any fire available, etc. Those are the types of fail that I am used to and generally prepared to overcompensate in my healing for.

But! I have been introduced to another kind of fail group. This one I honestly have *never* encountered before now. I suppose variety is the spice of life, and my recent wow pugs have been spicy indeed.

Here is a rundown of this new and improved kind of fail:

Step 1: Queue up. Browse the AH. Clean out bags(why the fuck am I rolling around with 8 and 10 slot bags at level 54, anyways?!) Repair. Turn in quests. Run around and learn flight paths. Go back to the AH. /facepalm at trade chat trolls.

Step 2: ZOMG! Queue popped! Yay! Make sure I'm in the right spec for what the LFG tool says I'm susposed to do and hit accept.

Step 3: Loading screen. Protip:  Don't stand in the fire!

Step 4: Zone in. The scene is set as follows- Tank is way ahead out of range and appears to be in the middle of getting zerged by little red bars. One of the dps is already dead. The rogue uses his vanish while standing on a flamestriked area and doesn't move. The third dps is trying to hearth out in a corner. Suddenly, and not surprisingly, the tank dies then leaves group. The dead guy and the rogue leave group. All the little zerglings who were pummeling the tank turn their beady little eyes on me, the healer. I die under their gaze. The hearthmaster then dies and leaves group. All mobs reset to their original locations, revealing that the tank had pulled SEVEN GROUPS while the group was waiting for the lfg system to find a healer.

Step 5: uuhhh..... wut just happened? /boggle

Step 6: Loading screen. Protip: Dungeons are more fun when everyone works together as a team. Be patient with players who are still learning the game. ( /facepalm )

Yeah. That's the group I ran into this weekend. Not just once, either! This happened three or four times! My mind was totally and completely boggled. I can understand a geared tank pulling a group that he/she is comfortable tanking without heals. They want to continue to have progress so the other members of the group don't bail out. Hell, I've even done it. Cautiously. But I would never pull exceptionally large groups with no healer. It just doesn't make any sense.

Even if you had all died due to the stupidity and impatience of a shitty tank, why would you leave when you finally got a healer from the queue? Yeah, you're dead. Just run back. bailing out wastes an amazing amount of time. The deserter debuff sucks balls, and then there's the wait for another group to form. As dps, that's about half a day. Just waiting for a queue.

I suppose, when the fail is just too much, that there's is no alternative than to bail out and wait for all those timers. Sometimes, doing nothing really is better than suffering through some of the PUG's there are nowdays.

How to win at guilds

ZOMG Heals!!!

HEAL ME HEAL ME HEAL ME!!!

The insistant whining of dying toons is like a badly tuned alarm clock, sounding over and over again, despite the fact that the healers have managed to keep everyone alive and well.

HEAL ME HEAL ME HEAL ME!!!

Oddly enough, this practice of screeching like a cat set on fire is not limited to PUGs. It certainly isn't excluded from them, either. But it exists outside of them, in regular raiding guilds. Guilds who have had their healers for awhile and are well aware of what their capabilities are. Groups who have encountered horrible /facepalm pulls and survived because of the mad skills of their healers.

HEAL ME HEAL ME HEAL ME!!!

Even the very best healers have to put up with that desperate plea. It's bad enough to encounter in raid chatter or even raid warnings [HEAL THE TANK!] With vent, we now hear it in a whole other perspective- we get to hear them screaming it in a decibel that even dogs would complain about.

HEAL ME HEAL ME HEAL ME!!!

Here's a small factoid for the non-healers. Typing/Yelling at your healers to heal you, doesn't do anything except waste the time it takes to type and waste vent time when more important info could be put out. Not only that, but screeching louder and faster will not make the heals land any quicker. Not to mention, by the time you've said something, the heal is either coming, or it's not. If the heal is already enroute (being cast) then demanding heals is merely annoying the healer who is healing you and causing other healers to waste their mana trying to "compensate" for something that isn't wrong in the first place. If the heal isn't enroute, then it's because you are not a priority and capslock/outyelling the raid leader isn't going to change anything. If, by some odd chance, you are a priority (tanks) and you're not recieving the heals you should, then the group will wipe anyways and the raid leaders and healers can discuss assignments to be sure you're kept alive the next time.

HEAL ME HEAL ME HEAL ME!!!

Achievement-whaat?

I am an achievement whore. I love knocking out achievements, watching the little dialog on my screen and getting grats from people who feel like sending out grats. I really enjoy the hard achievments, the ones that require skill, time, and effort on the part of several people. So when I see achievement PUGs forming, I'll usually jump on board to work on my own achievements or assist others with theirs.

Most of the time, those achievement runs are smooth and hitchless. People get out of the fire, kill what they're susposed to kill, don't kill what they're not susposed to kill and stack and scatter appropiately. Those kinds of runs can even be down right enjoyable. Unfortunately, there is a chance of ending up in a group that rocks the opposite end of the spectrum.

"Eveyone know what to do, right?"

"yeah, yeah, we got this" "OMG GO"

*que wipe

"Ok... so what are we susposed to do in phase one?"

/facepalm

For some reason, there are people who see "achievement run" in a PUG's advertisement and jumps on board for a free run. I think the reasoning is that a baddie knows that the majority of the group will be well-geared and knowledgable about the raid. Said person will attempt to blend in with everyone else who knows what to do. When an achievement run gets infiltrated by one such person, it's usually workable. The rest of the group can adapt and improvise enough to compensate for the baddie. But when an achievement run is overrun by baddies, is ceases to be about the achievements, which can be frustrating for the people who are prepared and have ended up saved to a group that will be unable to complete normal modes.

And so, Baddies, this is a request for you: PLEASE stay out of my achievement runs. I want my achievements. On "carry the baddie" days, I will gladly carry your ass to free epikz, in exchange for you staying out of my achievement runs.

That was great guys, but next time lets...

It seems that every time there is a wipe, there's always a few people who feel prompted to make themselves known to the group.

Guy#1:  "ZOMG GUYS YOU SUCK SO MUCH, JUST KILL THE BOSS. FUCK!" Guy#1 is fairly useless, but definitely high on the annoying meter. He will usually be the first one to bail out. Sometimes Guy#1 feels it is his job to inform trade chat, the barrens, and his mother, that the group he was just in failed.

Guy#2: "Guys, that was a great attempt, but I think next time we should try not dying. It's that dying that's really kicking our butts. I think if we make an effort to not die that we would be able to take this boss down with no problem." Guy#2 is harmless, equally as useless as Guy#1, and not as annoying. Guy#2 likes to state the obvious, so much so that sometimes I think there's a [CPT OBVIOUS] achievement or feat of strength. (I have yet to find any proof of said achievement)

Guy#3:   /ninjalog

Guy#4: "Strategy, strategy, strategy, blah blah, strategy. Profit!" Guy#4 is usually right and some groups will subconsciously promote Guy#4 to raid leader and expect him to carry them through the rest of the instance. Other groups will completely disregard any advice he has to give and, on failing to find fire to stand in, will start up a cooking fire and stand in that.

Guy#5: "Guys, in my one group, we did blah, blah, and bugged it out and it worked great back in (four or more patches back) Lets do that for guaranteed win!" Guy#5 is useless and annoying. But groups like to listen to this guy. I believe it's the key phrase "bugged it out" that makes groups want to listen to this guy. In the end, his advise is usually useless and several of Guy#3 will make themselves known when the group fails. Again.

This was a quick list, and certainly isn't complete. Please feel free to add more to the list in the comments section!

Blizzcon2010 nerds

When in a Pug is going to Blizzcon2010! I'm sure some of you already knew that. But for those of you who didnt know, now you do!

Blizzcon.... Blizzcon. Every hardcore wow-ers (daiblo-ers and starcraft-ers, also!) wet dream. At least, that's what I thought. After all, countless masses wait breathlessly for Blizzcon announcements and then rush the forums after each one. Tickets are sold out in seconds, and then resold (sucessfully) by scalpers for more than double the face value.

And yet, when I asked ingame who was going to Blizzcon, I was confronted with a few "wut?". Even more baffling, I was called a nerd.

/gasp

Online. In a video game. By another person who was playing the same game. I suppose that's a topic for another thread.

/equip murloc hat

Yes, I am a blizzcon nerd. I'll see all you awesome people in a little less than a week. And all you haters can just kiss it!

Competition for Gear

I consistently see groups searching desperately for a component to their raid- a tank, a healer, sometimes even a dps. And yet, when they receive pm's from geared and experienced players, the raid leader turns them down and continues to spam trade chat. When this first happened to me, I was baffled. A nearly full raid that is sitting around, ready but not able to begin because the raid leader is refusing to bring along one or more people who are biting at the bit to go.

It seems a waste to me. Common sense states that the longer a group is actively not full and not raiding, the more likely it is that people will leave. But then again, common sense never was that common.

I finally uncovered the reason behind a raid leader holding up a group of people. One would think, maybe we need a super specific class for a certain buff or ability- a shammy's bloodlust, a mage's spellsteal, something along those lines. Something that would benefit the group as a whole and increase the likelihood of a successful group. Something like that is certainly an acceptable reason to turn down offers that don't fit the needs of the group.

Unfortunately, more and more often, encounters with the phenomenon of turning down ready and willing pugers has nothing to do with benefiting the group- the reason is *much* more selfish.

Raid leaders are refusing to invite people who will compete against them or their butt buddies for gear.

......

I'll say that again.

Raid leaders are refusing to invite people who will compete against them or their butt buddies for gear. Granted, it is nice to have evolved beyond raid leaders simply inventing an excuse to place everything shiny in their inventory and suddenly, inexplicably, developing an issue maintaining a connection.  However, keeping a group waiting and waiting. and waiting. and waiting so that one person can have everything they want essentially reserved? It's not only wasting time of 9 or 24 other people, but it's also exceptionally greedy and entitled.

While it is beyond annoying being turned down for groups because I was deemed a threat to loot, I have been on the other end of the spectrum as well. I have been in a group that was held up for an incredibly long time while the raid leader looked for another tank. After a while of observing the raid leader spam for another tank and observing a paladin tank spamming for a group for the dungeon I'm in, I asked the raid leader why he wasn't grabbing the guy in  trade. He told me that he wasn't sure if I would be "ok" with it. I'll have you know that I squared him away, we grabbed the other pally tank and blasted through the run, with me and the other pally rolling on gear and neither of us getting hurt feelings when we were out-rolled.

Regardless.

This practice that has come about is, in my opinion, no more than a combination of reserving items and ninjalogging. The raid leader has essentially reserved "their" items, but without telling anybody else in the recruiting pool or group that it is reserved. But because there is nobody else in the group to ninja it from, they're saved the inconvenience of having to log out of the game after their first piece of free loot that they get without having to roll against anyone else. A group with a raid leader who does this is simply put- carrying them, whether they can hold their own or not.A raid formed with the purpose of gearing up a single person is a group that is carrying said person. And, wether they say it or not, nobody actually likes to carry anyone else. Especially in a pug.

So. Raid leaders. Form your pug. Get the people you need and don't be such a sissy. If you just *have* to have a specific piece of shiny purple gear, don't block out the competition just reserve the item. You'll form the group faster and won't have to turn down so many people. Besides, a little competition is good for you. It makes actually winning the gear more wowgasmic.

Purchasing achievements- a do or a don't?

As a constant pugger, I find acomplishing certain ahievements to be near impossible, if not downright completely impossible.
Usually the fault is not my own. I won't entirely pass blame- I have occasionally stood in fire a smidgen too long in an attempt to get off one more heal. But normally achievements are just out of reach due to one or more individuals in the pugs that I've joined.
Pugs are constantly unable to muster up the coordination required to accomplish many of the achievements available. At times, they're too uncoordinated to even kill simple bosses.

And so, with many simple achievements and their rewards unatainable for puggers like myself, I read through "achievement X for sale for X amount of gold" advertisements with a little longing.
Trust me, I wouldn't want to simpy afk out during fights and have my achievments handed to me. But at times, after constanty running with fail pugs, I would love to join a group that has mastered all fights, allowing me to participate and to feel as though I accomplished something during the run.
However some people do purchase achievements with the primary purpose of setting autofollow and leaving the computer, expecting to come back and have ther character suddenly be elite. Those people then hit the general population with outstanding gear but still lacking the ability to play the game.
People like that set a low precident for those of us who simply want to experience fights at the level of high end raiding guilds.

Contributing

In the ideal PUG, tanks will hold agro, healers will keep the entire group topped off, and dps will maximize their damage while not pulling agro. In the ideal PUG, all three classes will do those jobs without error while still following whatever strategy is required for each boss.

Unfortunately, as we all know, PUGs rarely ever run idealy. Instead, tanks will pull while not in tank spec or gear, healers will zone out on their Whack-A-Mole marathons and die while standing in fire, and dps will unfailingly refuse to allow the tanks to build sufficient agro before smashing their OMGWTFBBQDPS!1 macros.

While those errors are easily correctable, the parties at fault rarely accept responsibility. While failing to accept responsibility isn't so bad in and of itself, it makes them believe that whatever happened isn't their fault and so they also don't correct their actions appropiately, thus recreating the situation. In essence, they attempt to shut a door with their hand in the doorjamb and rather than moving their hand, they state there is some fault in the construction of the door and continue to attempt to shut it- All the time keeping their hand in the doorjamb.

This stubborn refusal to man up and adapt an improved playstyle constantly baffles me. It seems to me- you're more productive when you're steadily DPS-ing, rather than dead and staring at the floor while everyone else picks up the slack caused by your death. Likewise with healing and tanking. It's simply unacceptable to be so ignorant and cocky to believe that your doing two seconds of 10k dps is so "1337" that the group will forgive you for not contributing for the remainder of the 1-12 minute fight.

So PUGers- how about just doing your job and stop trying to /peenflex. Cause guess what? Nobody cares how big it is if you die every pull.

I'm too sexy for your vent

Too sexy for your vent, too sexy by far!



That seems to be the mindset of at least half the members of any pug. In a guild run, that nonsense just isn't acceptable- you'll quit your whining, join vent during the raid, and be happy about it. But pugs are different- they generally lack a solid hierachy, and certainly lack any disciplinary actions for members who refuse to conform.

Most of the non-comformists won't even bother giving an excuse. Occasionally, there is a legit reason for not joining vent- sometimes their computer is such a hot mess that it would burst into flame if it had to run wow and vent at the same time.

However, usually it's someone who is overly self richeous and entitled and simply can't be bothered to join vent because it's far too much work. They'll state "it's old content- we don't need vent," then wipe, and promptly start bitching that everyone else is a noob. Some mistakenly believe that their guild vent is more important than the vent of the group that they're with. Others still are watching TV and would hate for their show to be interrupted by somebody screeching for MORE DOTS.

/wrist

/wrist for wasting a week and a half farming heroic TOC for the heart trinket that drops from regular.

Carry me, please!

I prefer to join pugs where the guy advertising says something like "5.6 GS and achiev required". I know it's going to be a fairly easy run, I know most of the people are geared and experienced, at least to the raid leaders satisfaction. The run will go smoothly enough, with a couple errors due to laziness and will usually fall apart when people have to leave for guild raids or real life engagements.

However, every now and then, that's not the case.
Occasionally, I'll run into this kind of advertisement: "5.8GS and Frost wing achiev required. wtb kingslayer for H modes. Going 11/12"
I see that and I get real excited- finally, a run that will be more challenging than the weekly "naxx" badge farm. I send my info, get an invite and notice that about a quarter of the people in the run are from the same guild. Whatever- guild run that needed more people. But then I get to the instance and my heart sinks. Some of them, including the raid leader, barely have the minimum gear to be farming trash.

Now that- it just boggles my mind. I can understand not having the greatest gear and trying to get a run to improve that shortcoming, but to advertise requesting top notch players and put on a front that implies a truly epic run...
For shame.

Look Ma! No Hands!

(And I can still pull off the tank)

As a healer, I occasionally get annoyed when I watch bolts of various type of DPS smash into a mob or boss before the tank even has the opportunity to even run up and smash said critter with their weapon. And as heals, I usually just keep the offending dps class from dying as I watch them hop and run around as the tank chases after trying to regain threat.

As a tank, it's an entirely different situation. I've usually already burned one of my agro abilities as I run up to the critter and when I see that shiny bold of pure DPS pass me I have to run through the various options available to me, because I *know* whoever did it won't pause for me to build up some threat, and their early DPS will unleash the fury of anyone who was actually being kind enough to wait. Even worse than their blindingly swift ejaculation of dps all over my mob is the fact that they'll then run around the map screeching "save me, save me" but refusing to stand still and let me do so.

The frustration I feel from the realization that it's going to be one of "those" runs is quite near to the frustration any woman feels after it's over in less than thirty seconds.
DPS: it's not that common, it doesn't happen to everyone, and it *is* a big deal.
So sit back, take a deep breath, let the tank get agro, and concentrate on not pulling. The experience will be better for everyone because of it. Because lets face it- no matter how good you are, if you're dead after two seconds, you were not a contribution.

Motivation: You're doing it wrong.

So every now and then I run into a group that sucks. But it's a sneaky suckage- the run has all the signs of a good run: high GS, people with the achievement, the ability to down trash and the first few bosses without vent, etc.
THEN! There is a wipe. A single wipe. And after that wipe, complete chaos descends on the group. And not only does the group leader fail to control it, and to pump up and motivate the group to do better, but they join the chaos.
The result looks something like this:

Old content that kicks ass

I love old content. I wasn't even around when old content was new content, but I still love it. I enjoy fights that require strategy, teamwork, and skill. Encounters that you needed to research and constantly practice to become competent enough to master.

With Wrath of the Lich King came new bosses and new fights, each requiring new skills, and the old content became, well, old content. Most of it is now farmable be even the most inept players. But there are still a few dungeons with acceptably complex fights that thwart all attempts of zerging. Those are the old content fights that I enjoy the most. Fights that require the same skill from level 80's as they required from level 70's, or even 60's, back in the day when the fights were still new content.

Unfortunately, as much as I enjoy those fights and understand that they won't crumble to mere zerging, most of the population on wow seems to believe that throwing more and more 80's at a boss will do the job. And so when I'm feeling a bit nostalgic, I'll get in a group and end up /facepalming as it fails in an amazingly epic way, and then falls apart due to the fail.

Pissing people off

So you're in a pug, be it raid or dungeon, and somebody is being a smartass or tempers are frayed, or whatever reason- somebody finally gets pissed off and leaves. This does not include situations in which a group legitimately sucks, this is just in reference to situations where somebody antagonizes another player until they leave.

Now, when this happens with a DPS, who cares? But! when they happens with a good healer or tank(shitty healers and tanks not included in my rant) my mind is simply boggled. DPS is simple to replace- one advertisement in trade channel usually does the trick. But when it happens to quality tanks and healers, the group is FORCED to sit and wait while the leader(or dungeon finder) struggles to find a suitably qualified individual to replace them. An advertisement or two in trade will usually not suffice. The raid leader will labor to find somebody and will gradually lower the standards of what they're looking for, if only to get to group up and moving. A group can get lucky and the process only take a couple minutes. But the norm for finding a suitable tank or healer is usually around half an hour or more.

And so, knowing this, I simply cannot fail to be shocked when I observe a necessary class get harassed into leaving.
And along with my shock, I cannot fail to get a few chuckles at the suffering they have brought on themselves when a group annoys me into leaving.

"I have a level 80!"

There's a spectrum of players you encounter when you do pugs. At the one end of the spectrum is the brand new player who is wearing all quest gear and needs each fight explained to them in painstaking detail, lest they decide to stand in a nearby fire to keep cozy and warm. And on the other end of the spectrum is the hardcore raider who has maxed out multiple characters not only in levels, but in gear and toys, and boy are they anxious to let you know it.

When you're grouped with them, they're both annoying, but I daresay that the more annoying of the two is the hardcore raider. Granted- they are experienced, and usually geared. However, I believe that is where the pro's to having them in your group end. The con list is what makes me /facepalm whenever I realize that I am in a group with them.

The beginning the list is their overconfidence. They will consistently overexert themselves, regardless of the skill and gear of their teammates. Tanks will pull more than their healers can comfortably heal. DPS will smash every cooldown and complain when their tank can't hold mobs and their healer can't keep them up under the onslaught of the agro that they just pulled.
Next is their holier than thou attitudes. They will constantly bash on the group with them, passing all blame to others and then throwing insults along with salt into the wounds.
Another problem that is run into is the meter linking. This person will either link the meters after EVERY pull or will ask somebody else in the group to link so that they don't look like the cocky asshole they are.
Finally, they always want to tell everyone else in the group how to do their job, how to play their class, how to do every pull. It's always nice at first, but after awhile it's annoying and unnecessary.

And so, I would much prefer to be pugged with a noob, who can learn and be trained, than with a experienced raider, who is far too obnoxious and self righteous to even attempt to improve their ways.

PUG Bingo

These I acquired quite awhile ago and they continue to keep my pug experiences fun and enjoyable as I get Bingo! and get close to full blackouts.







And for your convenience- I will also include the link to a blank Bingo card so you can make your own.

http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4035/4224719083_365b3d18e6_o.jpg

When in a pug- an introduction

I am not a dedicated raider, but I love raiding. Since I can never commit to the raiding schedules that guilds require of their raiders, I am in a constant state of pugging. When I'm not actively in a pug, I am scanning the trade channel looking for one that will have all the qualities required to be successful- gear, experience, patience, and maybe a little bit of luck. When I find such a group, I'm ecstatic. But more often than not, I face group after group of impatient, inexperienced, and undergeared scrubs who simply want to be carried to the final boss so they can get their [EPIC LOOT] Those groups often end in a way that everyone who has ever pugged is familiar with- people getting frustrated and leaving. But every now and then, there is a group that fails so bad,  the fail is almost a win, in and of itself, for being such a unique level of fail.

And it is with that thought that I decided to create this blog. Stories of pugs that have such a catastrophically  brain numbing level of fail to them.